Excerpt from Networkaholics Revealed! True Confessions From People Who Networked Their Way to Success (And How You Can Do The Same)

CHAPTER 35

Excerpted from an interview with David Steele by author Bonnie Lowe

According to licensed therapist and relationship coach David Steele, the best way to network is to focus on the people and organizations that are highly aligned with the clients you are seeking. “The targeted laser approach is better than the shotgun approach.”

David suggests categorizing potential networking venues as follows:

Level One: public venues; anyone can be there from any walk of life.

Level Two: you share one trait in common with attendees, such as being single or in the same profession.

Level Three: not only do you share an important trait in common, but also a strong interest. For example, a professional association committee on ethics.

Level Four: not only do you share something important, in common and in interest, but you all share a passion; you’re really like-minded.

“Level Four venues are places where you’ll find people who are most receptive to who you are and what you do,” said David, “and most likely to be connected to other kinds of people like you, and the kind of people you want to seek.

“This helps people structure how they view networking. It’s sort of like fishing. You can fish in a bucket of rain water, a man-made pond, a stream or the ocean–what you catch depends upon where you’re fishing.”

David advises that such a structured, targeted approach is particularly effective for beginners. “When you’re starting out, it’s really tough to know where to start. As you build your business, there are lots of different choices and opportunities. You need to prioritize your time and efforts so you’re focusing on the high-likelihood results, not just trying a scatterbrained approach.”

Win-Win Networking

David, like all successful business owners, knows that connecting with other people is essential. “I’m at a stage in my career and accomplishments where I have worked with thousands of professionals and clients. I’ve touched lives through my training programs, seminars, audio programs and books. I could never have done that alone. It’s really all networking,” he said.

“Networking is best when it’s a win-win situation; when you’re giving as well as getting. So I’ve always focused on providing value. I never approach a person or organization thinking, ‘Here’s what I want you to do for me.’ The way I approach it is, ‘How can we play together, how can we help each other?”

David builds his clientele through networking, not advertising. “I’ve done very, very little advertising,” he said. “And the little I have done has not been very effective. Advertising is not an effective way to get my kind of clients. It is effective for businesses in which people seek out your product and service by looking at advertising. But in my profession, we are conducting a very personal, intimate service. I work with helping professionals of all disciplines—doctors, lawyers, chiropractors, coaches, therapists, social workers, etc. We all conduct a personal, intimate service. An ad can work, but people have to know you, like you, trust you; it takes a leap for people to hire you. And word-of-mouth referral is by far the most effective way that we get clients, and that’s all networking.”

Third-Party Endorsements

“When I was just starting my practice, I was working in a family counseling clinic as a supervisor. I was training interns, working with clients, and trying to establish a private practice.

“I was focusing on conducting presentations, and I gave one to a group of parents. My specialty was parent coaching, behavior consulting for children. One of the parents at that presentation really liked what I had to say and what I had to offer. She told the leader of a new mom’s group at her local hospital, “you gotta get this guy."

“So I got called out of the blue by the group leader, and she wanted me to do a presentation for her group. She didn’t ask about my qualifications or anything—she called wanting me to speak based solely on the recommendation of the person who had seen my presentation.

“I spoke to the new mom’s group, and they loved it. They asked me to come back on a regular basis. I was giving a presentation to that group every few months for quite a while.

“Then the group leader started referring people to me. This was a new mom’s group to which every parent that has their baby born in this hospital gets referred.

“The group leader was a tremendous gatekeeper for my local community. Whenever a need for a counselor or support system for parents came up, she would send them my way. It just sort of fell into my lap, and that’s how I established my practice and got it going. It was all networking. I used networking to get that presentation, somebody attended the presentation and told a gatekeeper about it, the gatekeeper invited me in and I became part of their network.

“Third-party endorsement is very powerful. In your networking, sometimes some of the best ways to network is to leverage who you know to get them to introduce you to other people who are good for you to meet. That’s a third-party endorsement, even if it’s not explicit, it’s implied. ‘I think you should meet so-and-so. You guys have a lot in common, you can benefit each other.’ If I make such a recommendation and you trust me, you’re going to be open to checking it out, thinking, ‘Well, if this person I trust says so, it must be OK.’

“So in your networking, instead of just trying to go for the gold or go directly for what it is you’re trying to make happen, sometimes it helps to leverage your existing contacts and let them pave the way for you.”

Viral Networking

David compares such word-of-mouth referrals to viral marketing. “It’s almost like viral marketing, where you send the word out in an email of free report, and somebody forwards it, and then that person forwards it to someone else, and so on. This was very similar to that.”

You can use the power of viral marketing with your networking efforts. “One of the things I try to help practitioners do is come up with something physical that their target audience really wants and really needs,” David said. “Whether it’s an audio tape, book, report, tip sheet or something like that, make sure it provides real value. That will end up working for you. People will pass it around, tell other people about it.

“You have to give people a reason to refer to you, and sometimes people need steps. The very first step can’t be ‘Call me and hire me for hundreds or thousands of dollars.’ Often they need smaller steps than that, such as, ‘Go to this guy’s website and listen to his audio program, it’s great.’ Or ‘This guy is giving a free seminar; I recommend you check it out.’

“That kind of thing helps the viral marketing aspect of networking work. You’re giving people a reason to send others your way. Sometimes it’s a big leap to make a direct referral for the service. It’s all about value. People feel good steering others to something that will be helpful for them, that they don’t necessarily have to pay for. The next step might be paying for something, but at least they can get a taste.”

Cultivating Heroes

“People like to be helpful; people like to be heroes,” David said.

“If we want referrals, we have to put something in place that helps our referral sources and our network feel like heroes, something that makes them feel good when telling other people about us. It can’t just be ‘This guy’s a great lawyer, I recommend him.’ It is more effective if there is a more tangible, valuable reason to make the referral. “If I would’ve identified that new mom’s group leader as a gatekeeper on my own, thinking ‘Wow, there’s this new group at the hospital and a social worker that leads the group; she would be a great referral source!’… If I would’ve ‘pitched’ her to establish a referral relationship, it probably wouldn’t have gone very far.

“But because somebody else told her about me, because she invited me and got an experience of me, and because she saw the reactions of the other people involved in her group—that is what caused her to refer people to me and really believe that I was a good resource, and that people she referred to me couldn’t go wrong.

Virtual Networking

David values online or “virtual” networking as well as in-person networking. “I recently participated in a telesummit put on by the Association Of Coaches & Consulting Professionals on the Web (www.accpow.com), founded by Milana Leshinsky. She invited the top names in internet marking for coaches to participate. It was a great group of experts, and it was organized just like a conference is organized, with different times for different events. But instead of showing up at a hotel, people called in on the telephone.

“The thing that’s amazing is that she set this all up—great vision, great mission, great model—and did not market it at all. She let her presenters know that they needed to market it to their lists and that they would receive a significant portion of the registration fee for doing that. The commission was something like 50%. I sent announcements about it to my list; everyone else participating sent announcements to their lists. The bridge line capacity was limited to about 200 people, and we got plenty of takers.

“It was fun and it was very effective. Every presenter was an expert in their field, and they had a lot to say, a lot to offer. It was really rich in information, content and ideas. And it was totally virtual, marketed totally by networking, put together by networking.

Milana didn’t pay anybody. She identified who she wanted to invite, contacted them, and it was all done through networking.

“I was prepared to participate just to get some publicity and perhaps market my books and programs through a little PR. But as it happened, just by sending the announcement out to my list, I ended up making a couple of thousand dollars in commission—for sending out a few emails and showing up for one or two sessions on a telephone.

“That’s the power of networking. She could not have done it herself. It’s a very powerful, experienced group, and the contributions of everyone made it work. Everyone won—the presenters won, the participants won, and Milana won.

“I look at that as a great example of networking in the virtual world.”

David Steele

A California-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Coach, David Steele is founder and CEO of Relationship Coaching Institute and BuildingYourIdealPractice.com, and the author of “How To Build Your Ideal Practice In 90 Days” and the “How to Get Clients Toolkit.” He leads an 8-Week “Get Clients” Full Practice Training, and 90-Day Practice Building Intensive programs.

David has helped hundreds of private practice professionals to get clients and build their ideal practice.

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